I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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