I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
