dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
