I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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