why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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