i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
