i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
