Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need to calm my uterus...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
