i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this just has baby written all over it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
