:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
