Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
