I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think I died a long time ago.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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