Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
