I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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