Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
