new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize