you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
