Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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