Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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