history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
