If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
