"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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