Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
