when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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