Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
