It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm getting married
To pizza
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
