Plan B is the new Plan A
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
