So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You're like the curious george of whores
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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