Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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