she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
