She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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