I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
