you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
