She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
