i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
