Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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