Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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