their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
