I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
