I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
