naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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