She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
