Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
