you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
