I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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