Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
