You can't special order awesome
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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