So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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