yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
