I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I look better un-naked...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
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