a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
