when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
