Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I died a long time ago.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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