Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
